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I wonder what Santa thought he was gonna win.
Plodding through the snow
in a one-man open sleigh
at a half a mile an hour
laughing all the way
HO HO HO!
It’s all fun and games
’til he has a heart attack
then someone else will have to go and
carry Santa’s sack!
HO HO HO!
Obese men should not
pull a sled like that
when they’re centuries old
I’m just sayin’, he’s fat!
HO HO HO!
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
Actually… what they’re playing for was this: if Blitzen there won, Santa would have to pull HIM around in the sleigh, as you see him doing here. If Santa won, he would get to shoot Blitzen in the ass with a paintball gun.
Santa, you should know, has a vast arsenal of paintball guns, and other toy weaponry, since most of the little boys (and occasionally girls) who ask for them don’t end up actually deserving them. They tend to occupy the “naughty list”. So it’s good that at least someone gets to use them, but Santa simply cannot shoot at his elves with it. That would kill them. Reindeer are, by contrast, a bit more robust. They can take a few shots with a paintball gun.
He DID have a mishap one year, with another reindeer… one named Rudolf, where Santa screwed around and fired right as Rudolf turned around to see if Santa was behind him… got him right in the nose with a paintball, which is the real reason it’s red. And no, it doesn’t actually glow. It just FEELS like it’s on fire, to this day. A reindeer’s nose is a particularly sensitive organ. Rudolf doesn’t play that game with Santa anymore, and Santa got a scope so… Blitzen there is still game. Also… Blitzen is WAY better at poker than Rudolf. Rudolf can’t bluff for spit and screws things up for every other one at the table. THAT’S why they wouldn’t play with him. His golf game’s pretty good though. No idea how, as he has no opposable thumbs. None of them do. I guess it’s magic. Anyway… happy winter solstice holidays, everyone!
@J.Craig God,that’s hilarious!
J Craig – lololol!!! Brilliant!